walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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