So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
