Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
