Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My ass is underappreciated
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
