it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
tell me about the eggs
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
