Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
