I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
