Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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