do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize