SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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