It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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