I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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