so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
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If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha