shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.