Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize