I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
