I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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