I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
