What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
