He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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