hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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