if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
