Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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