im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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