Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
