how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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