You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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