It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
