My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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