she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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