Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
