so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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