Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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