is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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