Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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