I puked a lego.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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