just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Even my vagina gasped.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
