Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
