Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
vagina is talking i cant
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.