if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?