yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing