As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize