I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize