I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize