I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
