whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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