I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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