But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
