Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
be right there i have to get my cape
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
