The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
