We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
