My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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