Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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