Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
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I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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