feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
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I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took my balls.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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