I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
