she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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