It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
