New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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