New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
